return my video game
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
