I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
