you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm at about main and main street
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
