I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
