Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
