Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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