We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
