there's paper in my vomit.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize