I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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