Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize