I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
When did angry sex become our thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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