i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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