guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
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