I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize