I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
my shit smells like andre
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I woke up under a house in Key West
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
