i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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