So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
