Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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