I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
