Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
After tacos, we're chasing women.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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