scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
