No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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