walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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