my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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