You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
