At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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