She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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