I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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