How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pole danced in your parka.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize