i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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