I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
