i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
