My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
