I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
