I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
