Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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