guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
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truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
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We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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