I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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