Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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