Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
