We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
