is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
