He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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