drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
