clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize