So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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