I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
