I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
