We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
