plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
