There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
