I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
