Whod you bang
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Randomize