I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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