hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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