Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
