why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Me. At least after what I've been through.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize