Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
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