Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
